“Trust is someone’s actions matching their words, over time.”
I don’t know who said this. I was typing something at my desk with the TV on in the background when I heard it and it somehow has managed to stick with me since.
First of all, I never really thought about the definition of “trust,” but that’s most certainly it. And secondly, when I decided that was it I realized a mistake I’ve been making for years. I meet so many new people all of the time. And I often find myself saying about this random third-party participant, “I like her. She seems trustworthy.” Or, “He’s nice. He seems like someone you can trust.”
But presuming trust is ludicrous because there must be history for there to be trust. And even then, the two are not mutually exclusive. You could befriend or date someone for six months, a year, longer and that person’s words may fail to routinely match their actions. In this case, you have the history, but not the trust. Trust issues, maybe. But definitely not trust.
So when you think about the people who you really trust, whose actions have matched their words time and time again, it’s very humbling. That person felt you were worth it to do what they said they were going do for an extended length of time and never waver. To show up, stand up, and speak up for you. I can only think of a handful of people who have earned that medal in my life, and conversely, who I’ve been able to make that commitment to myself. But that’s okay. That’s how it should be.
While I love the definition I heard because it made me think, here’s a stab at my own: trust is an exclusive club of exquisite people.